Author’s note: In case y’all haven’t realized, I don’t really plan these out before I type them up. It’s a write-as-you-listen kind of practice, and I’m only now realizing how much of a clusterfuck that can be. Apologies…
Fuck it. I’ve got tickets to see Waterparks tonight, and I feel like writing about it.
To start us off, I’ve found that the most brilliant aspect of Waterparks is that it knows what it is. You know that 20-second opening of The 1975’s “Give Yourself A Try” video? The thing with the orange hair and the existential crisis and the teddy bear? Yeah, that’s Waterparks.
I mean for fuck’s sake, they’ve got a podcast for reading erotic fanfic, like who the fuck does that? Awsten mf Knight, that’s who. God bless. (It’s a brilliant fucking show by the way, y’all should definitely check it out.)
Fair warning: this post is going to be filled ad nauseam with Texan references, ‘cause yee-fucking-haw mother fuckers. #DrPepperReignsSupreme #HEB #FuckInNOut #BeaverFever #IStillHateYolandaSaldivar #TheStarsAtNight #AlrightAlrightAlright
Also, Waco (“Wacko”) still sucks…
Anyway, back to the music—
I had very high expectations for the boys’ sophomore album. After listening to the magic that is Double Dare and watching them perform in five different cities, I knew this was going to be a band that I’d stick with.
Double Dare was refreshing in its nonchalant fuckery. It’s reminiscent of ATL in their So Wrong It’s Right era, but it’s not derivative. It’s not just pop-rock/pop-whatever; it’s “we’re doing a thing and we like doing it this way so we’re just gonna be weird about it for no particular reason. Also fuck labels.”
Keeping up with the momentum, Entertainment gives us ten solid bangers, each with a distinctive vibe that effectively eliminates anyone’s excuse for not liking at least one song. I’m not going to write about all of them, because I’ve only got about 34 minutes to write this before I’ve gotta get back to my day job, so here goes--
“Blonde”
I won’t lie, my favorite parts of this track are the intro and the pre-chorus. I just dig the guitar and simple beat in the opening lines, and I’m absolutely enamored with Awsten anytime he sings words in rapid succession. He’s putting his rapping skills to good use, and even though the world doesn’t deserve them, he’s blessed us with them nonetheless.
“Peach (Lobotomy)”
“Peach (Lobotomy)” is catchy and definitely hummable. Every album needs at least one track that you can casually enjoy without it thrusting you into an existential mind-fuck experience. It’s boppy, it’s peppy without being unnecessarily demanding, and the whistling just makes it an all-around good time.
(Also I appreciate that he’s found a way to reference Texas at least once in each album #TexasForever)
“We Need To Talk”
I knew from the opening that this was going to be one of my favorite tracks on the record. For real? “Your momma likes me and she doesn’t like anyone.” ? God damn.
Let’s dwell on this for a moment—this is so much harsher than the line, “my mom doesn’t like you and she likes everyone,” because let’s be honest, the easy way out of that one is to say, “I don’t give a fuck what your mom thinks.” On the other hand, if your own mother (who is notorious for not liking people and has probably disliked every boyfriend/girlfriend you’ve had up to this point) genuinely enjoys this person that you’re no longer with, you’ve just set yourself up to deal with that for the rest of your life. Your mom is going to bring him/her up at every family function. She’s going to compare your future partners to him/her. You will never escape this person! And assuming you have a good relationship with your mother, you’re going to care about what she thinks! You’re going to spend the rest of your life dwelling on what might have been had you not thrown this person to the curb. Bravo, Awsten. Bravo.
I have no idea where this track is going, but it’s so casually condescending like it’s not even a big deal. This is like when you’re so done with someone that they legit don’t even bother you anymore. This is, “you are so beneath me right now that your presence is damn near unrecognizable. Also, I’m keeping the toaster.”
Now there’s definitely some pain throughout the song – there is loss and longing and a sense of betrayal, like a “how dare you be like this after I opened myself up to you?”
Awsten’s laugh in the line “I’m sorry I don’t hack your phone like he did,” paired with the sunshine-like beat gives a false impression that the narrator is unaffected by this person’s actions. He’s done with this person, for sure, but it doesn’t make the betrayal any less shitty.
I find the music video interesting for this track, what with zombie-Awsten and all. You’ve got a girl who legitimately (accidentally) kills her boyfriend, seeks solace with narcotics and witchcraft, and selfishly succeeds in bringing her boyfriend back despite being the cause of his untimely death. To top it off, her ungrateful ass is disappointed with the way Awsten is when he does come back that she then calls a priest to exorcise him? Like? How dare?
Luckily, zombie-Awsten gathered enough self-respect and lack of give-a-shit to leave, but it doesn’t heal him. Because of her actions, he has to learn how to live life like a fucking zombie. It’s downright disrespectful…
Side note—I don’t know how you find the will to hurt a dude that calls you his four-leaf clover and says that you shine brighter than morning. Uhh, goals ?!
Long story short, this is a song we all need to have saved for a rainy day, because you fucking deserve better.
“Not Warriors”
I really hope I’m not the only one who loses all sense of composure when this song pops up on my playlist. If I had to name a song that just made me lose every ounce of my shit no matter what mood I’m in, this would definitely be in the top 5. It’s right up there with “Poppin’ Champagne” and “King Kunta.”
Awsten does this thing with his voice when singing “but,” “at,” and “the” in the lines, “I’m sweating off potential but I’m nervous at my central for you,” and “there’s nothing left to miss except the shots I take and phone calls with you,” that’s absolutely mesmerizing. I’m not sure what it is, but I’m getting literal chills listening to it. It could very well be all in my head but just trust me on this please.
The line, “and I just need you to feel it too,” is so deliciously real. It’s not desperate per say, but there’s a tangible need and authenticity in the way it’s sung. It’s like we’re in a movie and he’s just professed all the reasons why he’s in love with you, and you can’t help but stare in awe of his perfection. He’s basically saying, “I fucking love you and please for fucks sake tell me you love me too.” What could be romantic than that?
Okay, I may be going a little overboard, but that’s what it feels like. I mean serously, “hey for what it’s worth I think you saved my life.” ?! Classic Wattpad romance novel.
As far as the music video goes, I 100% identify with Otto’s completely blank stare at the TV. You can’t tell if he’s enraptured with Geoff’s gaming or his head is on a different planet, and honestly #same.
Also, Awsten getting attacked with flowers in his closet just sounds accurate. Like, “what the fuck,” but also, “that makes sense.”
And that’s what I mean about Waterparks being what it is. It’s random and makes no fucking sense, and by coincidence or the will of the cosmos, it’s actually come to mean something. It’s an identity and/or perspective that basks in the unknown and gives people a space to find comfort in having no fucking answers.
Uncertainty is one of the most destructive and toxic aspects of the human condition, because we’ve convinced ourselves that we need to have an answer for everything. We haven’t given ourselves the tools to cope with the unknown, and it’s fucking maddening.
This band actually gives us that space, though. They literally just fucking exist. They make it up as they go along and it fucking works. Even more critical, though, is the fact that they aren’t doing it for us. We shouldn’t be selfish enough to think that these artists do what they do explicitly for our benefit. They’re writing about their lives and using the tools they’ve been given to cope with their own shit. We just happen to be lucky enough to be dragged along for the ride. Remember that when you meet these artists..
Last thing I want to mention about the video is that there is not a single doubt in my mind that if Awsten was mauled in his bedroom, Geoff and Otto would maybe glance back at the door and then proceed to ignore that shit. Brilliant.
“Lucky People”
I’m just going to dub this the “21 Questions” of Entertainment. I’ll never turn down an opportunity for a Waterparks acoustic track.
I’d like my future partner to put this song on after rescuing me from my boring day job and taking me on a romantic getaway. My standards are so low at this point that I’d probably marry him right then and there lol.
“Rare”
I absolutely fuck with the rhythm and vibe of this track. I’d recommend this song for your Sunday cleaning-day playlist. You’ll get the living room dusted in no time (and actually enjoy it).
Also, (yet another) side note, I think it’s charming that like 90% of Waterparks’ songs are actually low-key (high-key) love songs. They’re so fucking pure and simultaneously directionless that you’ll find yourself just openly affectionate to friends and maybe even strangers.
"TANTRUM"
Nevermind, spoke too soon…
OK this is a track we need to fucking break down. Real shit, uhh apparently I’m deaf because even though this isn’t my first time hearing this song, I’ve obviously never paid attention to the lyrics. There’s so much going on here, I’m about to throw off the structure for this post…
So, the intro which directly condemns the artificiality of the music scene is said using Siri’s voice – the poetry behind this is not lost on me. The significance I’d say mirrors that of what I described in Bring Me The Horizon’s “MANTRA,” which conveys the superficiality of religious doctrine when applied through an authoritative lens.
The guitars rev up like the opening sequence of a fight scene, and we can already tell it’s about to get fucking real.
First verse opens up: “If I wasn't thin and white with blue hair would I be here // Maybe if I kill myself you'll know I'm sincere // I'll shave my blue hair // Burn the rest of two dares // Drop from 'parks like "fuck it, who cares?"”
Holy shit.
The pre-chorus is sang once again with an artificial voice, lyrics reading, “I resent the party scene with part of me that's hard to see // It's turned my starry friends to uninspired's lacking symmetry.” At this point, I’m genuinely shook. What the actual fuck.
OK bringing it back – I don’t even have to listen to the rest of it to know that they could not have found a better title for this track. It’s purely cathartic with a stream-of-consciousness narrative. Stylistically, it communicates the concept that Waterparks is what it is, and while we may not have a clear-cut answer as to what it is, the band feels an inherent need to preach and/or defend it.
This is why I love this band so fucking much. In the first 40 seconds, we’ve started one hell of a vent session. Subject: authenticity.
What’s beautiful about this is how sincerely raw and matter-of-factly bitter the lyrics are. They’re vague statements that aren’t necessarily directed to one particular place and/or person, which again kind of goes with my earlier statement of Waterparks living in that space of the unknown.
Furthermore, I see these lyrics less as statements to be taken literally, and more of a figurative expression of frustration at (once again) the feeling of betrayal—only this time, the betrayal may be the industry itself. Or maybe the artists that comprise the scene?
There’s a resentful tone throughout the song, almost like a “how dare you?” laced with a tendency towards self-sabotage that’s inherent in characters who feel like the item they’ve sought is nothing but a lie. The line, “it’s turned my starry friends to uninspireds lacking symmetry,” suggests that these “friends” aren’t sticking to the same story—whether it’s their motivations, their style and maybe even their identities as artists. They’ve become disfigured in a sense, concerned about the scene and expectations placed on them instead of who they once were, and what was once important to them.
At first, I thought the next lines (“Hey, look what you've done now // I'm fucked and hope you're proud // While you follow around, follow around”) were casually directed at fans, but upon further consideration, I think we’re sticking with the “up yours” rant towards other artists. Also, I love the line, “So, excuse my tantrum // Can't you see I've got my hands full?” because it’s just another layer of artistry that conveys how internal this track really is.
What I mean is that while it’s already been established that this song is in fact a rant, it’s the little things that make it all the more poetic. Things like the brief pause before the second chorus that sonically suggests a sort of sigh, or the little cut in the vocals during the intro line (“let’s put away our black clothes and start cutting up our voices”) and even the little side nod asking for our forgiveness during his “tantrum” that make us believe we really are just listening to Awsten vent to us and not an actual song.
It's 2 minutes and 48 seconds of downright perfection to the extent that I can’t think of any type of Waterparks track that I’d want more than this one. It’s so blatantly Waterparks. It’s not the only thing Waterparks is, but it demands the most respect. And I’m more than happy to give it to them.
The band brings back the Siri voice for the final line, “Thank you for coming by, today was a really good day.” Doubtful. Very doubtful.
I say that because, while it may have been cathartic to make this track, this was not written about a good day. The fact that they brought back the cold, inhuman, unoriginal and inauthentic voice to read it implies that while the vent session is over, that doesn’t make any of this okay. Maybe it’s a step towards leaving it all behind, but there aren’t sunshine and rainbows at the end of this tunnel.
On an unrelated note, I will never for the life of me understand how these fanfics keep portraying Awsten as the submissive. Seriously? In what way has he ever come off as unauthoritative and/or compliant? Are you fucking kidding me?
If the answer is that Awsten is perpetually “goofy” and Geoff occasionally looks bored when playing live, that is so horrendously not good enough of a reason. Honest to God (or whatever), Awsten motherfucking Knight is one of the most deliberate and self-assured artists I’ve ever met. Granted I talked to him for like 30 seconds, but you can hear it in the music. This isn’t a man who just lets things happen, and he sure as hell wouldn’t awkwardly and submissively take someone’s dick up his ass. For fucks sake—give the man some damn credit. *end rant*
OK well I’m officially late to get back to work and might get fired so I’m just going to upload this and maybe regret it later.
If anyone’s going to the Dallas show tonight, hit me up!
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